NICK DOUGLAS -- Some of them you recognize, some of them you don't. Here are the twelve funniest people on the Internet today, including Ze Frank, Brad Neely, Worker #3116, and that crazy lady at Violent Acres.
Andy Samberg: Before he was Timberlake's partner in "Dick in a Box" or one of the white boys in "Lazy Sunday," the SNL repertory player posted videos and songs at The Lonely Island. I recommend "The Heist" (a better white rap) and "The 'Bu" (a serial).
That Crazy Lady At Violent Acres: No one knows who she is, but she is insane. At the age of 6, she beat up a boy while screaming "I'LL EAT YOUR EYES!" She hasn't gotten calmer.
Skot at "Izzle pfaff!": A new find. From his blog: "I, however, am a fucking ninja for snow driving. I grew up in Idaho, motherfucker! I took driver's ed in eight inches of snow. How do I know it was eight inches of snow? I measured it with my dick. RAR!"
Ze Frank: The funniest videoblogger out there will end his show in March, and then he's off to Hollywood. While the average daily episode is good, the gold is in classic musical numbers like Hindsight is 20/20 and one-offs like "Fingers in Food."
Brad Neely: I first heard about this guy when he made "Washington," a video in which the first president ate opponents' brains and invented cocaine. (He'll kick you apart!) Neely now releases videos on the new Super Deluxe video site, including the better version of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Iggy Pop's roadie: He wrote a wicked concert rider for the band. "Required: 2 heavy duty floor-mounted fans. So I can wear a scarf and pretend to be in a Bon Jovi video."
David Malki: Writer of Wondermark, one of those delightful "classic clip art mashed with ironic modern sensibility" comics. Except funny.
Matthew Baldwin: The writer of Defective Yeti "puts the 'i' in 'teaim.'" Recent posts include the Pam spray solution to kids opening doorknobs, generational humor, and his ungrateful cats. It's not a gut-buster but a reliable chuckle.
Gabriel Delahaye: Known at his home blog, Corporate Casual, as Worker #3116, Delahaye writes passages like:
"When someone uses the word "funky" I feel like my ears are being date raped by a sad, sad man. Like...you go on a date with someone and they are just really lame and the date goes horrible and then later, when they are forcibly penetrating you, you're like "THIS GUY?! I'M BEING DATE RAPED BY THIS GUY?!" And if you're talking about something for which no other adjective seems appropriate, then maybe you should realize that NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THAT THING."
Daniel Radosh: The New Yorker contributor responded to the magazine's reader-contributed caption contest by hosting his own anti-caption contest. Dig his analysis of Thomas Nelson's audio Bible casting decisions. "Samuel L. Jackson, motherfucker. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Not to mention, I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes in this motherfuckin' garden."
Ryan North: Dinosaur Comics is, hands-down, the funniest daily comic online. Every day it's the same dinosaurs, in the same poses, with different dialogs.
Bob Powers: Girls Are Pretty, and Bob Powers has a thing for you to celebrate each day. Today, for example:
"Your Boyfriend Is An Expert Juggler Day!
He can juggle up to five small items at once. It is very impressive to children and simpler adults.
'Leave him,' your therapist says. 'People learn to juggle when they feel the need to maintain various deceptions. More often than not, a man who knows how to juggle has a secret wife and kids hidden someplace.'"